Sexual Cavities
by x-EliteAssassin-x
Summary: Deidara is sugar high and driving the Akatsuki mad, so it's up to Sasori to stop him in a way only the red-head can. SasoDei, S&M, Yaoi, One-Shot for YaoiRocks.


June: Yes... another SasoDei, though I have a fetish for MadDei at the moment as well... BE WARNED! XD

**Dedication: This is dedicated to YaoiRocks, she was the inspiration for this fiction when she was sugar high and also she lurves SasoDei so, voila...**

_Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Sasuke would be dead, Deidara and Sasori would be fucking and Itachi would be claiming Naruto's ass. If it's not clear yet; I don't own Naruto._

* * *

Sexual Cavities  
Written by June  
For YaoiRocks

**EDITED: 9/2/2010 - Mature version can be found on my LJ**

* * *

"SASORI!" An irate Hidan screamed stalking into the red-heads room.

The red-head looked up at the sudden intrusion and gave Hidan an impassive look. "What?" He spat, displeased at having his work disturbed.

"What the fuck did Dei-chan eat this morning?" Hidan growled at the puppet.

"How the hell am I meant to know?" Sasori droned.

"HE'S YOUR FUCKING PARTNER AND RIGHT NOW HE'S DRIVING EVERYONE UP THE FUCKING WALL!" Hidan yelled, his chest heaving after his outburst, Sasori watched idly as the Jashin symbol bounced around on the chain.

"And, what do you want me to do about it?" Sasori asked the silver haired man once he had calmed down.

"...FUCK YOU!" Hidan yelled, flipping the male off and stalking out the room, making sure to give the door an extra hard slam. Sasori raised an eyebrow and wondered what his partner could have done to get Hidan so riled up, they were usually on rather good terms. Shaking his head of unnecessary thoughts, Sasori got back to the work at hand.

A knock sounded at Sasori's door, only a few minutes after Hidan left, sighing Sasori opened the door only to see Konan.

"What?" He spat, feeling vaguely reminiscent of having just spoken to Hidan the same way.

"Do you know if Deidara-chan has consumed any strange substances as of late?" Konan asked, her voice smooth and calming like a gentle and small waterfall.

"No." Sasori replied bluntly.

"Strange, because he's giving us a bit of hassle..." Konan trailed off and looked at Sasori hopefully.

"Then whack him round the head or something, just leave me alone!" Sasori growled giving the kunoichi a fiery glare.

"As you wish Sasori-san..." The blue haired female replied with a sigh, before turning away and sashaying back down to the main room. Sasori blinked as he head screams and shouts coming from that direction, shaking his head he decided to ignore it, he was sure a bunch of S-Class criminals could deal with whatever the brat was doing.

A loud bang startled Sasori out of his work once more.

"Sasori!" Kisame yelled, the shark like ninja barging into his room.

"What?" Sasori asked, slamming his head against the desk inannoyance.

"Has Deidara been eating anything strange lately?" The blue haired man asked, his sharp, pointy teeth gritted in irritation.

"No clue..." Sasori said with a sigh.

"Then can you please stop him, before I make him into sushi." Kisame said with a low growl.

"I'm busy, go ahead and chop him up, just make sure he'll be able to move for any missions." Sasori replied with an uncaring shrug.

"Don't count on it..." Kisame said with a menacing tone, before grabbing his huge sword and running out the room, screaming like a barbarian. Sasori groaned in irritation, couldn't he kill Deidara quietly and without the jungle man yell?

"Sasori," A low voice said, announcing his presence in the room. Sasori sighed and turned round to see a tall shinobi with a head dress and veil.

"What?" Sasori asked, getting used to these interruptions.

"Has Deidara bought anything strange lately?" The man asked, his voice slightly muffled through the veil.

"No clue. Aren't you in charge of what we buy?" Sasori asked pointedly.

"Then will you come and get rid of him now, before I go and collect his bounty." Kakuzu said, beginning to wonder how much the blonde would be worth.

"No. I don't care. Do what you want." Sasori said standing up and shoving Kakuzu out the room.

"Fine, but you're not getting any of the money!" Kakuzu said with a haughty air, his only reply was a door slammed in his face. Sasori sighed and leaned against the door, that brat was giving him a lot of trouble today...

The creak of the door opening alerted Sasori to his next visitor.

"What?" Sasori growled, turning round and looked into whirling sharingan eyes.

"..." Itachi was silent and stared blankly at the red head, his face not giving anything away.

"I don't know." Sasori said, following the pattern of the previous conversations.

"..." Itachi stared again, but this time he put a hand on his hip and let the other hand play with his long raven locks of hair.

"I won't come, deal with it yourself." Sasori said turning back to his work.

"Hn." The Uchiha grunted, leaving the room. Sasori rolled his eyes and wondered how the hell Kisame put up with that kind of complete lack of conversation. The Uchiha was like a blank wall, but he mentally congratulated Deidara on even managing to get the Uchiha riled.

_"Sasori_**. OI! Asshole**!" Was the announcement of Sasori's next guest.

"What..." Sasori groaned, not sure if he was ready for a headache from this freak.

_"Do you know if Deidara_- **If blondie has had any sugar products?**" Zetsu asked.

Sasori blinked at the slight change in routine. "I don't know in particular, but probably..." Sasori said, fully aware of Deidara's sweet tooth.

_"In that case- _**Could you sort the damn brat out!" **Zetsu said, sounding rather exasperated.

Sasori smirked at him before replying. "Hell no."

**_"Asshole." _**Both of the voices chimed before leaving the room. Sasori vaguely wandered if the plant like man would eat his partner, he didn't particularly want Deidara to become plant food. Upon hearing a few rather loud bangs, Sasori shrugged and decided that Deidara was capable of handling himself.

"Sasori!" A stern voice called. Upon hearing the voice, Sasori sat up a bit straighter.

"Leader-sama?" Sasori asked in questioning tone.

"Could you-" The orange haired man started but was cut off.

"No I don't know what Deidara has had. Could everyone stop bloody asking!" Sasori said, slamming his fist on his desk in anger.

"Ah we already know what he's had. Some cookies, pocky, oreos, sprite, energy drinks and other such sugar products. I was actually coming to order you to help us get him under control." Pein said sternly.

Sasori twitched, "Order this!" He yelled, shoving something into Pein's hand, then pushing him out the room and slamming the door.

Pein looked down into his hands and blinked at the take-away menu, opening it up he looked through the menu. "Anyone want egg-fried rice?" He called down into the room where the mayhem was taking place.

"SASORI-SAN!" A loud voice yelled, Sasori twitched as an orange blur charged into his room.

"What the hell. You're not even in Akatsuki!" Sasori exclaimed as he looked at the masked orange blur.

"But Sasori-san!" Tobi whined.

"No, no and no." Sasori said frowning at his current nuisance.

"In that case," Tobi started, his voice suddenly taking on a more authorative tone with a hint of malicious intent. "Tobi guess will just have to claim Deidara-senpai's ass for himself..." Tobi said smirking under his mask and turning to leave the room.

Sasori's eyes widened at the threat. Deidara's ass was _HIS _damn it! Growling Sasori shoved past Tobi and headed down the corridor to the source of chaos.

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi said happily, before skipping after the red-head.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" Sasori yelled as he came storming into the main room, his hazel eyes widened as he observed the damage, the whole room looked like a bomb site. Definitely Deidara's doing.

"DANNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" A scream came from above before Sasori was tackled by a certain blonde artist. "Danna. Danna. Danna. Danna." Deidara repeated happily, punctuating each 'Danna' with a kiss to the lips.

Growling, Sasori suddenly shoved the blonde ball of energy off him and stood up.

"You!" He said angrily and thrust a finger in Deidara's face.

"Me, un!" Deidara said with a bright grin, whilst going cross eyed as he stared at the finger in his face.

"I have been bothered all day because of you!" Sasori said, his voice low and menacing.

"Un!" Deidara said grinning, quite proud of the havoc he had caused throughout the day.

"And now..." Sasori said with a smirk, "You have to be punished."

Deidara's eyes went wide at that. "...un?" He said looking at Sasori cautiously. The next thing he knew a pair of lips were crashed against his and Sasori's hand was painfully fisted in his long blonde hair. Pulling away from the sudden and passionate kiss, Sasori glared at the Akatsuki members... and Tobi.

"You lot are fucking pathetic and I- WHAT THE HELL DEIDARA!" Sasori yelled as he suddenly felt the blonde nibbling on his arm.

"I'm hungry, un! Sugar isn't very filling!" The blonde whined pitifully.

Twitching slightly at Deidara's words, Sasori grunted and walked off back to his room, Deidara clinging to his arm with the occasional nibble. Sasori rolled his eyes as he entered his room, Deidara still attached to his arm... by his teeth. "What are you? A termite?" Sasori asked sarcastically.

"Maybe, un!" Deidara said grinning, before pulling away and flopping onto the bed. "Soo... About that punishment..." The bomber said giving Sasori a sly and seductive look, before quickly grabbing him and pulling him down on-top of him. "When does it start?"

"About now," Sasori said, licking his lips as his hazel eyes gained a rather sadistic and lustful glint to them.

Deidara gave a loud cry of pain as he suddenly felt something pierce his thigh. "Ouch Danna..." The blonde said pouting at his lover.

Sasori grinned and pulled the kunai out of Deidara's leg and gave it a lick, savouring the taste of his blonde's sweet, sweet blood. "Ah, but the fun is just beginning..." Sasori purred sensually into Deidara's ear, giving it a seductive lick.

"Un," Deidara moaned, wrapping his lithe arms around Sasori's body.

Sasori laid the kunai down gently and gripped Deidara's hip roughly, slowly sliding down his body. Butterfly kisses at his jawline, sensual sucks at his neck and playful nips at his collar bone.

"Oh fuck, Danna!" The blonde moaned, bucking his hips up making both males groan as their erections rubbed against each other. Sasori tightened his grip on Deidara's hips, effectively restraining him and leaving the red head in control.

"Uh, uh, uh," Sasori tutted, "A punishment requires some work." Sasori said in a mocking tone, smirking in satisfaction at Deidara's glare, leaning in he whispered into Deidara's ear. "Now why don't you put those hands of yours to good use."

"As you wish, un." Deidara replied playfully, sitting up he fingered the waistline of Sasori's pants, slowly and teasingly he began to slide them off. Once the pants were off they were chucked somewhere in the room, they could always be rediscovered later...

* * *

Two weeks after the sugar-high incident, the Akatsuki members had just finished repairing the damage caused. Sasori had dragged Deidara out earlier that morning, muttering something about stupid, complaining lovers who threatened with the couch.

So it was quite a surprise to the band of criminals when the pair of artists returned, a wailing Deidara in tow.

"What the fuck is wrong with Dei-chan?" Hidan asked, blunt and foul-mouthed as usual.

Sasori gave a sadistic smirk before replying, "According to the dentist, Deidara has gotten cavities and he's not allowed any sugar for quite a while."

Deidara wailed even louder upon hearing his horrible doom, at least in his opinion. It took a few minutes for Sasori's words to register amongst the members, the second it did they all erupted in un-characteristic cheers.

"Halle-fucking-llujah!"

"Senpai won't go all sugar crazy on us! Yippee!"

"Hn!"

And so on...

Unfortunately for Deidara no-one sympathised his sugar loss, not to mention Sasori kept punishing him. His butt hurt damn it! Deidara groaned as he looked up and saw Sasori sending him a lust filled smirk.

He couldn't decide which was worse, the cavities or Sasori's rough and painful sex.

* * *

June: I think that may just be the longest lemon I've ever written... In fact the only lemons I've ever written are SasoDei ones, at least I think so. There ya go aniki, you got you're smut.

Enjoy! Reviews are loved!


End file.
